Monday, December 12, 2011

So much has happened lately

right now i just feel nothing
wow, so much has happened lately. I realized that I have been neglecting my blog for the past few weeks. An that saddens me. What the blog readers do not know is that the past two weeks have been the hardest thing to have to go through for a long time. it saddens me cause all the time i just want to wake up an go, ok its over. but i know mentally its not. so many questions, so many unanswered things. idk wtf is going on seriously. honestly i just want to get a decent grip on my life again. sadly i do not think that that will happen any time soon. sooo lets see if i can at least get a small grasp on my blog.

so here goes. well first off,this friday on the 16th is the 90day mark for my post op. its odd. 3 months ago this friday i was going into the operation room an being put under. i awoke late that night an had gone from a normal stomach to a gastic bypass rny stomach.  in those 90 days i've loss less than i would have liked but from what i understand more than most do in 90days. i have not posted any pics since i was 6wks out. but there is a reason for that. i try not to be seen right now. i'm in the progression phase of weight loss. an with the stress of my personal life i do not want strangers and old friends looking at me an saying oh dixie if you had just done this this an this..then blah blah blah. honestly i live my own life. an my weight loss surgery is my business.  i can say i wish i was losing more per week than i am. but at least i am losing at a steady pace right now. knock on wood.

now lets see what else i need to catch up on...well yule is literally right around the corner an its gonna be harder this year on me an my witchlet. i have been dating someone for almost 3yrs now. an for the first time since dating we won't be together. just my luck my fiance is goin through some shit. honestly it does not make complete since. but all in all. im gonna think positive. also this all started shortly after retrograde of mercury did. thankfully mecury retrograde ends tomorow. i have never been soo happy to have a retrograde end. even though i know it will not speed up anything.  it just effects so much during this time.
well for now this is all i can write. i gotta go play mommy shortly an still need to get my own self together first.


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