Wednesday, May 30, 2012

How can someone know what is going on with you if you don't let them know?



So i felt like finally dusting off my blog and writing again. finally was led by the goddess to express myself. So with that this one is about "Who I am"  lately i keep reading peoples' statuses and tweets were they are blasting there friends about how they do not know them. how they never understand them. and it got me to thinking. seriously what is up with that. why are you blaming your friends for your own failure. and i ask that in that way because it is your own failure in away not just thiers.  you as a human being have a responsibility to not only know who you are as a person. but also you have a responsibility to people that you refer to as love ones, family, friends, lovers. to make sure they know just who you are too. You can not only call someone or message/tweet/text/email someone when you are having a bad day. you must share the good too.
Now you may ask..Dixie who the hell are you to say I am a failure.  I seen your tweets, I seen your status you do the same thing sometimes. Well this is true up until very recently. you see recently I had to learn this lesson myself. you see I kept wondering why a friend of mine was pulling further and further way. always said they were busy, to busy to even call, or inbox, text etc. but then i would see tons of stuff of them having amazing life. then it finally hit me. I HAD NOT BEEN A GOOD FRIEND. I HAD BEEN THE FAILURE NOT THEM. I WAS A LOSER.  I became saddened cause i was like how could they not know I needed them, how could they not comment or tweet me supporting me or showing me that they are proud of how far I have come. Then it truly hit home...duh Dixie how would they know it was real or just a fake wall being put up for others. if all they ever knew was my negative stuff. how would they know if I never shared the good things and only shared when i needed something.
So yes I learned the lesson, you can not truly stand on a soapbox about this type of issue, if you have not faced it and come to terms with it yourself. I refer to myself as a phoenix but after all this learning i also know i got Pegasus tendencies. i will walk amongst the world unseen and fly high upon the sky and only those with truly open eyes can see the magic in who i am. so blessed be

Saturday, May 12, 2012

what do you see deep inside



WHAT DO YOU SEE DEEP IN SIDE WHEN YOU LOOK IN A MIRROR,
DO YOU STAND IN DISGUST, DO YOU STAND IN SHAME
DO YOU LOOK INTO IT, WITH A LIST OF PEOPLE YOU WANT TO BLAME.
WELL ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS IN LIFE TO DO...
IS TO TRUELY SEE YOURSELF AND YOUR CORE IN A MIRROR.
SEE YOUR OWN PAST, YOUR OWN FLAWS, YOUR OWN WRONG DOINGS.
THE HARDEST THING IS TO LOOK DEEP INTO YOUR OWN EYES
AND TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT NOT EVERY SINGLE THING IS TO BE BLAMED ON OTHERS.
IT IS A HORRIFIC AND FRIGHTENING THING THAT A STRONG PERSON  MUST DO.
BUT AT SOME POINT YOU REALLY MUST DO IT.
NOW YOU MAY WONDER WHY I AM TALKING ABOUT THIS.
ITS PLAIN AND SIMPLE. LIFE IS HARD. LIFE IS MADE OF TWIST AND TURNS.
THINGS THAT WE SUPPRESS, CAN AND MOST LIKELY WILL ONE DAY
COME TO THE LIGHT AND IF YOU HAVE NOT COMPLETELY DEALT WITH IT.
IT CAN DEVASTATE YOU ALL OVER AGAIN.
THE GODDESS DOES NOT GIVE YOU ANYTHING THAT SHE KNOWS YOU CAN NOT HANDLE.
THE GODDESS ONLY ALLOWS SOME THINGS TO SURFACE IF SHE THINKS YOU ARE IN A PLACE MENTALLY THAT YOU CAN BOUNCE BACK FROM THEM IN SOME POINTS.
AND EVEN IF IN THE BREIF MOMENT YOU THINK ...OMG THE GODDESS WAS SOO WRONG.
SHE IS NOT. SHE KNOWS YOU TO YOUR CORE. SHE KNOWS HOW WEAK YOU ARE.
SHE KNOWS HOW TRUELY STRONG YOU ARE.
SHE HAS FAITH IN YOU AND KNOWS WHEN YOU WILL RISE FROM THE ASHES ONCE MORE.
SO MY DEAR ONES..KNOW THIS. AT SOME POINT YOU MUST STOP DENYING THAT THE ISSUES IGSIST. YOU HAVE TO STOP SUPRESSING THE PAIN YOU SUFFER. ONE THING TO REMEMBER. IF THE PREDITOR HAS NO REMORSE TO YOU BUT HAS IT TO OTHERS. WORD OF ADVICE. ANYONE THAT IS NOT HUMAN AND ADULT ENOUGH TO APPROACH YOU IN GOOD FAITH AND WITH TRUTH AND HONESTY AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS. THEN PLEASE DO NOT SUPPRESS IT. IT WILL SURFACE AGAIN. AND ALL THE PAIN THAT YOU ONCE SUPRESSED WILL BE EXTREMELY PAINFUL.

SO EACH DAY. WALK YOUR WALK, FACE YOURSELF. LOVE YOURSELF. HEAL FROM WHAT HAS HAPPENED. AND HONESTLY DO NOT ALLOW OTHERS TO STARTLE YOU YOUR PATH AND JOURNEY. LOVE AND LIGHT TO YOU. BLESSED BE

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