Wednesday, November 30, 2011



As i awoke this morning. i did what i always do when i am the first one up prior to everyone else in the house. i give the breathing treatment to my black cat/familiar, get a bottled water and grab my charged up laptop an hop on facebook to see what i have missed the day prior. well this morning was wonderful. i awoke to someone ranting about me. they chose to not use my name..but as soon as they posted a certain comment pretaining to my young 8yr old witchlet, an the recent health issue i had succumb to and what medication  i too for it. plus ranted on a recent status update i did. i was like. wait that is me. then it was funny to read 4 ppl posting comments to her post with in seconds of her posting it. that actually all shared the exact same photo as there profile picture as well as one had the hair color changed but it was still the same photo. just changed the first name. an each person wrote more of the same posting..but it was funny since 2 of the people were not nor had they ever been on my friend list. so to say they had read any of my statuses was priceless. since i have them locked. all in first instict was to snap..but instantly i just got really calm instead. the goddess walks with me, an some total stranger that is not important in my life questioned things in my life. attempting to belittle, defile my name, and disrespect my faith. which was funny cause in one breath she was wiccan as well next was cathlic then christian. so all in all it was a funny posting. but i realized something.

around this time of year. so many people work so hard to find that one thing to lower the positivity and happiness of others. to hurt them. to make them unhappy. most do this cause they have something lacking in there own personal life. now i can not say that this is why this person chose me this morning. but i can say this. she proved something today. i will be tested. i will have negativity spoke about me, as well as negativity spewed about my family and friends and even my health. but in that i stand strong, i stand honest, open hearted an stand holding tight to the goddess cause i know something can not allow a stranger to change the positive journey you are on. just remember to place them into the goddess hands an walk away. for the evil someone spews at you. will be dealt with by goddess. blessed be

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Soooo i've been mia for a few weeks...guess what i've been doing

as yule is coming i shake the germs and prepare the altar
So i've been mia for the past 3wks or so...guess what i have been doing. yep you guessed it correctly. i have been sick off my ever slimming booty. I caught this awful cold started with a small sneeze and some mild congestion. then of course being any good mother i quickly jumped in my jeep, woosh off to walmart i went, getting out of the jeep i swore i heard the goddess or one of my guardians say the words "go back home" but being that i had started to sweat a little i thought ok this cold has me feeling wierd. i gotta get this medicine an then i will be ok. so walking into walmart that instant feeling that you just walked into the world of cooties hit me hard. customers coughing on produce. well that prevented me from even attempting to get some bananas and grapes to at least eat something. going down the frozen isle old lady sneezes into her hands then reaches threw the frozen healthy breakfast items...only to discover she didn't want it. placing it back. my brain screamed oh hell nah im not going to go in that container either. it all of a sudden became a warzone. the fact that so many people toss there germs around onto stuff, onto complete strangers and people like me with comprimised health due to surgeries etc are the ones that suffer. well i finally made it to the pharmacy. an tahdah i get a return call from my surgeon at that time too on my cell. sooo happy to hear that voice. between him and the pharmasist they let me know what i am allowed to take for the symptoms and what i would need to take if i progress worst. being that now that i have a rny gastric bypass it isn't as much of a simple grab a bottle of something and go option.  i was blessed to find 2 liquid items that i did not even care if i could stomach the taste of i just wanted relief. quickly went off to the tissues and discovered klennex has vicks vaporub tissues ...grabbed a box. now the hardest thing is that i walked past the oj ready to cry cause all oj has tooo much sugar suposedly in it for us. an normally when not sick they do not recommend more than a cup a day of juice. due to all the stuff in it. but me beginning ot start feeling really bad i could tell i was gonna need some gatorade and oj ...thankfully there is a low sugar low cal gatorade called g2 an they sell it in the one flavor i can stomach the taste of. quickly grabbed a 12pack an left the store.
as i got home my body already was alerting me that i was getting sick. i took some meds, rested an informed hubby that i was gonna be quarenteening myself to my room an that my son dragon was not to come in due to germs an the attempt to see my son go a school year with out missing any days. so by that nite i was progressively worst. by moring tahdah i was in the doctors office being told guess what dixie you got upper respirtory issues and a virus. ok take these things over the counter an push you do not get hospitalized for dehydration. well i had to quickly call my nutrionist. cause as a rny patient we are required to injest a certain amount of protein a day. an i could not stomach anything. she gave ma few liquid suggestions an told me she would email me with some more. an to rest an drink lots ofwater. so i did. i ran out to the store an as i was lookin through the oj i found one with the maxium amount of sugar allowed for a rny patient and the correct fat, no pulp, extra calcium an extra vitamin d. i quickly hit my nutritionist up an she agreed to allow me to drink it since i was not able to eat anything i was gonna need vitamins an minerals from some were. was allowed 3 8oz glasses a day, it taste like heaven im not gonna life. after 2 wks i had a cough that my neighbors could hear in the middle of the night. so many would text and message me asking if i was ok. cause they felt so bad for me listening to me cough all hours of the night. i finally found with the surgeon an pharmisist help a maximus strength dose an  flu/sore throat combo that started to work. all together i have been in shere hell for the past few weeks. and as a empath i could feel my mothers exhaustion as she prepared to manange over her walmart store for black friday at the same time as i was sick. it was awful. i finally felt well enough to get up an grab the crock pot an make some turkey burger chili for protein, started stomaching protein coffee again, and finally was downin water like i needed to. an keepin my meds down again. now im workin on preparing for the yule holiday. i created some ornaments that will need some touching up, but all in all it has been a rough few weeks. and omg i need rest. but i gotta stay focused and pick myslf up and be ready to continue on my journey being sick doesnt stop you from remembering that you had a surgery recently it just makes things a little difficult for awhile. now i gotta get myslf back on track

Monday, November 14, 2011


goddess i ask thee, why must i walk alone. goddess answers ...child you are never alone you have me by your side. but goddess why must i always be misunderstood. she answers..cause some can not see past there own blinders. goddess why must i never have company or friends to call my own. she answers...cause my child your heart may be open to them but they may not be open to you. so you may be on two different journeys. But goddess doesn't that mean my is destine to find small happiness then to lose it along my journey. Goddess asnwers...No my child. it just means that when it is time for things to be set free they will go. in order to make room for new things. some may stay forever, some for a moment an some just long enough for you to learn a important thing. Goddess may i ask you something else.. yes my child what is it. Goddess why do i embark on these journeys, find groups that i feel perfectly fit me. then when i feel like i can call it home and the people friends. why do they set me free and walk away.... Goddess smiles and looks at here kindly an says...MY CHILD LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING, AN SEE IF THIS HELPS YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS BETTER... in this group, did you find ppl that reached out to you and became your friend outside the group...yes my goddess, ok lil one..did you find knowledge that you did not know prior..yes goddess. did those friends you made support you on your fb page outside the group...yes goddess some truely have become wonderful support. DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN... the blessing of new friends. MY CHILD SOMETIMES YOU MUST ACCEPT THINGS SO THAT YOU CAN HEAL AN MOVE ON. LIFT YOURSLF UP. .goddess but why doess it always have to end this way. why can't it end positively. My child this is your journey. you can not succeed on your journey if you rely on others and there journey. cause will always compare urself to them. you are a individual and it is ur journey and you must live your life for you. my child i know it hurts now. but you will grow an those friends will still be there. (@copywrited and writen by danielle nikki robinson)

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


being proud of who i am comes with many judgments
As i sit here at 3am unable to sleep again. a cough and congestion making my restful nite a little more complicated. i started to thing. I looked over some of my family and friends facebook pages. i viewed there lives, i sat and i absorbed just how different some of them really are from me. I realize how much i truely love my family by the fact that even though i am different i still seek to be includeded in such things  as others are. But the little hints that i never will be ring loud and clear over and over again. I sit asking the goddess why is it that the non wiccan/non pagan people do not have to change yet it is expected of me to jump through hopes and change for them or to allow my child to venture fourth to areas with out me. where it has been made clear i am not welcome. my faith is not welcome, and yet i am expected to believe  that my son will be safe. Now some say it is shere rediculousness to fear that the enteraction of ones witchlet with people who do not hide there distane and predjudice for ones faith and even of me as a person. i feel that my witchlet will be old enough in a few years to make that choice on his own. with the blinders of being woooeed by videogames and junk food. and tons of activities.  I also believe that as the parent it is my right to decide what my witchlet needs to endure. for 8 long years of his life. family has chosen to not call him, to give him some really crap gift to him on xmas, blatanly refusing to accept that we do celebrate yule. they work hard to forget his birthday. they do not call him, send messages via written word, text, etc. and they use my mother's emotional stress that she feels stuck in the middle to pass info or things to him. so that they do not have to face me. all in all...through the years nothing has changed.

that is why i am on this journey, i am renewing my faith, and i am training my son and fiance in there faith. so they can see just how beautiful it is to be wiccan. with out having to be manipulated . both have the interest in it. and honestly they deserve to opportunity to enjoy a truely goddess and god filled life.
i can not say it does not sadden me sometimes that threw out my entire 37yrs of igsistance and over 20yrs of me publically admitting to be a witch practitioner and a wiccan, nothing has changed. but i do not expect much from some. sadly i do not expect anything anymore. cause even though they do not burn us at the stake anymore there will always be family or strangers who wish they could. cause they feel like some were in there head a sprinkle of sink water made them a christian so that means they are saved. goddess watch over me and my child and my fiance. for on this journey...trials and evil will cross our path. give us strength to resist work within the creed

Sunday, November 6, 2011


Well its seven weeks post op, rny gastric bypass. my stomach can drink roughly 8oz at a time while my pouch has progressed in the healing process from 2oz to now about 3.5oz pending on the type of food. it is wonderful to see that i am finally healing up. All my surgery inscisions are all healed up minus one. the dehydration, low protein, and unable to exercise all have slowed down my healing. my weight loss has been going slow and steady. i have had some ups and downs. but i continue to lose weight. as the protein slowed down, the weight slowed down. my fear of hitting a stall is sinking in. but first i am working on my dehydration and protein. then i will focus on all others. my fibro continue to quake through the day but with the help of muscle relaxants, and pain meds i was able to get a good night sleep for one. today is the hope for a full protein, full water fix day. and monday will start walkin on tredmill again. i am happy to know that i have a amazing suport system. doing some preparing today. getting my meds tray ready, my counters straightened out, my binders full of paper to create a good journal and updating my online weight loss monitoring sight to help with it all. goddess give me the strength to pull myslf up by my boot straps and walk on this journey like im supose to. hold me tight as i get my footing again. i do not want ot fail. i need toget healthly.

blessed be..


as the rush of samhain glow comes to pass, the pumpkins start to wilt away an the altar continues to glow from the many blessings of ancestors that passed visiting. I look around and realize oh my goddess yule is just next month. With me being just 7 weeks post op from a gastric bypass i looked threw many recipes and wonder how do you celebrate yule and prepare food that is both yule appropriate as well as weight loss surgery healthy. as many know on yule we prepare some amazing recipes. drinks, soda bread, bread pudding. all these things i am no longer able to eat. bread being one of the big issues. i can eat toast, flat bread, an wraps, but soft bread can cause blockage in my bypass intestinal hole and create a stricture that would cause me to have to be taken in for a endoscopy procedure to remove it. so just like with samhain i flip threw thousands of recipes, i am spending the next few weeks altering and substituting items so that i can celebrate yule with my family and still enjoy a great yule meal.

this will be my son's 8th yule, but traditionally our house is decorated for both yule and christmas. due to the fact that my family is baptist. and my household is wiccan. this year we are gonna to celebrate all the sabbaths and decorate my house the way we want it. i traditionally have a white tree. but it will hopefully be changed to a black christmas tree this year. my dream tree. also just as with samhain i will be creating our own family traditons that will be carried on yearly. my son dragon had such a wonderful time this past samhain that he is looking forward to the next sabbath. it is so wonderful to see the true joy in his eyes finally as he starts to understand what this faith is truely about it.

blessed be

Thursday, November 3, 2011

samhain rocked

sabbath pumpkins
dragon decided he would be harry potter for school an wolverine for the nite.

well what can i say...samhain rocked. i tended to my mom, we enjoyed veiewin our samhain pumpkins we carved together, an we watched transformers at the end of the nite. an i filled everyones belly with my homemade veggie beef stew. it was a blast. mom makes the most amazing faces when she eats. she was sooo happy. and the day after dragon went to school talkin about samhain as the mornin classroom share portion. i loved it. he was soo happy to just do our sabbath versus goin trick or treatin. an i had a bag of candy an everyone in the house got some from it..if they said trick or treatin was cute..giggle

blessed be


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