Sunday, January 6, 2013

Sometimes even I must take a break and let myself crumble

There is this moment in your life when sleep deprived and overwhelmed meet. When being super woman and everything for everyone crashes together. Where attempting to be a great spouse and holding everyone else together all comes to a big smashing thump in the middle. When your strong body finally says "wait does no one understand what is happening inside me!". When you as a human being finally get tired of arguing and fighting. The mood swings. The solitude. The being everything for everyone but then coming home and being exiled to a single room in a home you pay everything in. But being blamed cause your health prevents others from contributing. There comes a time when you grow so tired of hearing the clicks of keys on a keyboard, the yapping of everyone else. The gross sounds seeping through your walls and ceiling. The disgusting acts being done so loud and you pound and pound screaming that they please keep it down so you can sleep. but they just get louder. There comes a time when your world seems to suffocate you. and honestly you wonder if it is all worth it. There comes a time when the struggle to stay positive becomes hard to bare and you wonder if you have the strength to do it. when you feel like you are just so alone. When you finally decide that you can not hold up everything on your own all the time. You struggle to walk, struggle to stand. But finally all you can do. is.......CRUMBLE. You may feel that you are letting the world down by crumbling. But honestly even the strongest phoenix can only carry the heaviest load for so long. before it burst into flames. falls to ashes and once again is reborn. So its not about the fact that the crumble. It is about the fact that you once again rise from the ashes after you catch your breath and take time for you. I rise..I rise.. I rise..I rise from the ashes like the phoenix I am. And once more I will fly. I will rise from the struggles and heavy loads I chose to carry that weigh me down. I rise from the collapsed body that has fallen to the ground. And from the ashes of my former self I rise once more. I rise because I know I can. I rise because it is not failure to crumble it is part of being a phoenix. It is part of who I am. Even the most positive and strongest person needs to crumble and rise from time to time. So I RISE. Once I rise I may be shaky at first, but I will find my footing once more and my flight will become stronger each day. And with that I will fly strong and proud in the Goddess light.
Merry Meet, Merry Part. Merry Meet again. blessed be and remember just that you tried means that you already are winning. blessed be.

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