So much has happened lately

right now i just feel nothing

wow, so much has happened lately. I realized that I have been neglecting my blog for the past few weeks. An that saddens me. What the blog readers do not know is that the past two weeks have been the hardest thing to have to go through for a long time. it saddens me cause all the time i just want to wake up an go, ok its over. but i know mentally its not. so many questions, so many unanswered things. idk wtf is going on seriously. honestly i just want to get a decent grip on my life again. sadly i do not think that that will happen any time soon. sooo lets see if i can at least get a small grasp on my blog.

so here goes. well first off,this friday on the 16th is the 90day mark for my post op. its odd. 3 months ago this friday i was going into the operation room an being put under. i awoke late that night an had gone from a normal stomach to a gastic bypass rny stomach.  in those 90 days i've loss less than i would have liked but from what i understand more than most do in 90days. i have not posted any pics since i was 6wks out. but there is a reason for that. i try not to be seen right now. i'm in the progression phase of weight loss. an with the stress of my personal life i do not want strangers and old friends looking at me an saying oh dixie if you had just done this this an this..then blah blah blah. honestly i live my own life. an my weight loss surgery is my business.  i can say i wish i was losing more per week than i am. but at least i am losing at a steady pace right now. knock on wood.

now lets see what else i need to catch up on...well yule is literally right around the corner an its gonna be harder this year on me an my witchlet. i have been dating someone for almost 3yrs now. an for the first time since dating we won't be together. just my luck my fiance is goin through some shit. honestly it does not make complete since. but all in all. im gonna think positive. also this all started shortly after retrograde of mercury did. thankfully mecury retrograde ends tomorow. i have never been soo happy to have a retrograde end. even though i know it will not speed up anything.  it just effects so much during this time.
well for now this is all i can write. i gotta go play mommy shortly an still need to get my own self together first.

NEVER LET IGNORANCE OF A STRANGER CHANGE THE POSITIVE JOURNEY YOU ARE ON

I LIVE BY THE WICCAN REDE NOT JUDGEMENT OF STRANGERS

As i awoke this morning. i did what i always do when i am the first one up prior to everyone else in the house. i give the breathing treatment to my black cat/familiar, get a bottled water and grab my charged up laptop an hop on facebook to see what i have missed the day prior. well this morning was wonderful. i awoke to someone ranting about me. they chose to not use my name..but as soon as they posted a certain comment pretaining to my young 8yr old witchlet, an the recent health issue i had succumb to and what medication  i too for it. plus ranted on a recent status update i did. i was like. wait that is me. then it was funny to read 4 ppl posting comments to her post with in seconds of her posting it. that actually all shared the exact same photo as there profile picture as well as one had the hair color changed but it was still the same photo. just changed the first name. an each person wrote more of the same posting..but it was funny since 2 of the people were not nor had they ever been on my friend list. so to say they had read any of my statuses was priceless. since i have them locked. all in all..my first instict was to snap..but instantly i just got really calm instead. the goddess walks with me, an some total stranger that is not important in my life questioned things in my life. attempting to belittle, defile my name, and disrespect my faith. which was funny cause in one breath she was wiccan as well next was cathlic then christian. so all in all it was a funny posting. but i realized something.

around this time of year. so many people work so hard to find that one thing to lower the positivity and happiness of others. to hurt them. to make them unhappy. most do this cause they have something lacking in there own personal life. now i can not say that this is why this person chose me this morning. but i can say this. she proved something today. i will be tested. i will have negativity spoke about me, as well as negativity spewed about my family and friends and even my health. but in that i stand strong, i stand honest, open hearted an stand holding tight to the goddess cause i know something today..you can not allow a stranger to change the positive journey you are on. just remember to place them into the goddess hands an walk away. for the evil someone spews at you. will be dealt with by goddess. blessed be