Monday, March 12, 2012

sooo what has been going on lately

well it has been some time since i wrote in my blog. but i fealt tht i needed to. left has been extremely hectic. sadly i honestly can say i have lost faith in just about any and everything. the storms of life has preceeded to weigh me down futher and further. i do understand that it is up to me to weather the storms and survive so that i reach my goal. but emotionally i am drained. the promise that if i lost at least 50 lbs i would have a drastic drop in alot of my meds, and fibro would get better . was alet down. along with the fact that now i have severe tailbone pain coccydynea and raynaud phenomenon  to very painful new conditions to live with. the emotional toal it takes to do all this alone when you know ur heart loves your husband kills you. it breaks your heart. i fight each day to no just up and walk away. i just want all the obstacles that are standing in his wa y of returngin back home to us to be removed. honestly i do ont know what i can handle much more of. honestly i just done. life is to shot to suffer this much. idk what to do.

wls is hard an its even harder when u have to do it alone. but i can not say that to anyone. cause everyone has struggles so i am told to just get over it. so for me. i wonder at times..if the reason i am failing is to show others that even a smart one can just give up. when there is no one supporting her. cyber friends are wonderful. but honestly what is there to do when u log off ur computer ou are still alone. no one is there . no one to say hey go for a walk with me. nothing. everyone has a life. so this is my honestly i just dont know what to do anymore..honestly i can not take anymore

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