|LIKE A PHOENIX I RISE TO FLY ON THE NEW JOURNEY BLESSED BE|
this journey has been a hard one. at 6wks post op i have been in the hospital for potential strictures, dangerous dehydration levels, more than once. as well as acid reflux issues ,projective vomiting, and as of yesterday a potential heart attack or stroke. which by the grace of goddess i was told i did not have. but in that has caused so much stress on my stomach pouch as well as my weight loss progression. due to all the medical complications over the past 3 wks. it slowed down my weight loss considerably and i was not able to drink my protein shakes cause i could not stomach them nor was i able to reach my daily protein requirement an on most days could not even eat very much. so in that my stomach has been just icky. but i have lost a nice amount of weight over the past few weeks.
yesterday was a hard day in general after being in the hospital all day . i did come home an eat a small amount. i wake up this morning pretty rested but at the same time even though my ekg an stuff came back fine i am still having phantom chest pain issues. but i think part of it is indigestion. sometimes i forget that even eating a couple bites of something means you have to wait to drink before an after it. that is what makes it hard sometimes with this lifestyle. i see so many people who just want this surgery cause they believe this is some easy way out of weight loss. they look in there mirror an they hate themselves. well first off. get over that shit really fast seriously . i mean no disrespect to people. but omg if you hate yourself that damn much cause you are sooo damn over weight fyitah dah they get it. fyi i hope those people fail. i know it is wrong to wish that on people. but day in day out i have to live with this life changing experience, i have to not only alter my own life, but in return it changes your children's life, and if you have a mate it will change theres. if you are low income family like i am..you can not afford a ton of healthy stuff then a bunch of crap for them to eat too. so everyone must change. but then there are people that just eat what they want. wow it upsets me. and honestly the bullshit that people believe this is a easy way out of weight loss. those people do not deserve this procedure either. cause they really need to tell me what the hell is so easy about having a stomach that isn't even 4 ounces. that on most days a 2oz is all you can eat. having to eat every 3 hrs. having to make sure you get your protein. and making sure you get at least 64oz of water in a day. all in all..it is not easy. the making sure every single bite is chewed up to dang near mush before you swallow so that it doesn't get stuck in the hole. so all in all, its isn't easy. the fact that you gotta swallow pills all the time for something. so to those people wow get a clue. don't say its the easy way out. an do not whine cause your life is soooo awful cause you want a procedure that you mentally just want to have cause you believe it is gonna magically make you look like you did wayyy back in the day or some one that you have never looked like in your life. this journey you embark on is not about lookin hot its about becoming healthy an changing your life in a good way.
i tell anyone...i carried my heavy load, i burst into flames an crumbled to ashes..an as i awoke from my procedure like a phoenix i arose. i rise to the sky to take flight once more. but only this time i have been given a second chance. an for that i am blessed. blessed be