Monday, August 6, 2012

DAY 5 of Countdown...SUPPORT CAN COME FROM ANYWERE EVEN STRANGERS


Today's Countdown topic is Support. Something that is very important. Something that over time many of us lose. Either because the hospital support group that your surgical hospital had offered became to verbally abusive and negative. Or the hours that the support group ran did not comply with your work schedule and your life as a parent. Also many of us have lost the support of long time friends cause as we have grown skinner and the more we continued to stick to the rules of weight loss surgery and have self esteem finally. the less likely those long time friends wanted to spend there time around us. Some truly had us around so that for one we could be the fat person in the group. the one they stand beside or sat beside in restaurants so that it made them in there mind look thinner. or so they felt like if there was a fat person at the table then everyone assumed the big person was the one eating so much. but it was not always the case. An when you got self esteem and self worth poof those friends did not want you around anymore.  Some even have lost what little family support they have had. some have the support of say a parent a mother or father or spouse. but have lost the rest of the families support. family is a tricky thing in general. but once someone in the group has wls alot will become distant or just plain mean. one of the ways alot of wls patients notice that they do not have true family support is that a function with family is extremely difficult to eat at..there is nothing not a single thing to eat that would not make you dump or sick. everything is fried, greasy, uses extreme amounts of mayo instead of lite salad dressing. in some causes items u are allergic to are placed in it. the veggies even are cooked with lots of butter and fat back in it. trust me i know this one first hand. and you find yourself bringing you a prepackaged meal. which in return you feel like a outsider. you do not feel like you are part of the family.  the one support regrettably that a lot of weight loss patients lose over time is there spouses. i recent was researching post op losses and i discovered that post op there is a high amount of break ups and divorces. sadly some spouses just are not ready to be with the skinny self confident person you become after  that had this what they felt like this joyful life of u with no self esteem. it is not your fault. it is theirs. so many spouses are not comfortable with confidence that once you get it they instantly know that the years of neglect and mistreatment. the unloved that they have shown you. will all be noticed and there will be gaggles of men or women lining up or be with you. funny thing is in most cases you only want them. but they become so insecure they cheat, lie, or just leave. dump asses. yep  i called them that. so far i have not lost mine. but it does not mean we don't argue. he drives me cry some times. i do love him a bunch. but he seems self absorbed and the same man that never gave a shit if i jumped in a car and left for hours when i was over 300lbs now seems to get bummed if i don't take him with me when i go to the store. and he uses my health as the reason .funny thing is i had the health back then...its more than men hit on me in front of him..lol. loving that shit.

so now that you know the type of support i am referring to...i want you to understand what i mean by it can come from anywhere. you can get support from a meetup group. a walking group an or even a online support group. now in some cases you may fall in love with a support group at first and over time grow to hate some of the actions of those people. but remember you can get support else were. and never take the medical advice of other patients over your own doctor. do not leave your life in a strangers hands. plain and simple.  also you can find support in your faith, or a therapist too. talk it out. any way you need to. remember you are not in this journey alone. blog, facebook, myspace, what ever you need to. video blog. it does not matter how you do it. just allow yourself to find support of like minded people.


*positive thing of the day*  helping someone else get on track discussing the basics helped me to remember just how much i knew and still know. and i realized i did not forget it. and sharing it made me feel good. i am at peace.

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